Shining Bright, So Bright
by colormyheartred
Summary: Emma is a star in the night sky and Killian is a sailor. They're only granted the opportunity to see one another once per year on Emma's birthday, when she lands on Earth as a human. Lieutenant Duckling/ Captain Swan


It's a curse, she thinks, that she's a _star_ and he's a sailor.

She often sees him gazing up at her with longing in his eyes and his fingers twitching on the cap of the rum bottle he's snuck up with him on deck.

Of course, she watches him all the time. Even when he doesn't think she can see him, she can and sometimes she thinks about being _human_ so she could cry.

But she's allowed to see him. Once, every year, on her birthday.

It's a deal that every star gets- to have their one wish granted. Hers was that she could be human for a day, every year, and she's been allowed this adventure ever since her first birthday many years ago.

She met Killian Jones on her birthday a few years ago. She'd crashed into him, actually, and he'd been wide eyed with wonder at the sight of her, his jaw slack and his voice trembling with fear.

He'd been so young then, too, barely a teen himself. He'd just happened to be visiting the Isle of Stars on a trip with his elder brother, Liam, and her crash landing had disrupted their little camp.

Both brothers had been initially defensive, but then she'd proven herself unarmed and friendly, and they fell into an easy conversation.

Killian had particularly been interested in her, though she knew even then that he was too shy to admit his feelings, instead reaching up to scratch behind his ear and telling her that he'll look for her in the night sky.

"I'll shine the brightest," she'd promised on a giggle, pleased to have met such kind men.

And so it becomes tradition. She meets the two brothers on the island and they agree to host her during her special day.

On one birthday, when Killian is just about to turn nineteen, she falls to the Earth and lands gracefully on the Isle of Stars where her lieutenant awaits her arrival, a desperate smile on his face.

"Swan," he breathes and she swears, she's never heard a sound more beautiful than her name on his lips.

He came up with it, of course, those years ago while they sat around the campfire with Liam. She'd told them where she came from in the night sky, and he'd informed her that it was the Cygnus she spoke of with a little wry grin.

So, Swan she is. She likes it, having a nickname other than her proper name, Emma.

She's still glowing and she shakes the dust off of her arms with a slight grimace, not wanting to spend another second of her birthday as a human even smelling an ounce like a star.

Emma steps up to him and slides her hand up to cup his cheek. He immediately closes his eyes, his breath coming out in a shutter, and Emma revels in it.

He has a beard now, his scruff scratchy soft against her palm, and when he opens his eyes again, she finds them bluer than the last time they met. She wonders if it's _possible_ , if a year could make him just this much more attractive.

"Killian," she says his name quietly and she's glad it's the first word from her lips, because any other would taste like poison, she's sure of it.

He searches her eyes before he presses one of his hands, _warm_ , so _warm_ , to her hip and his lips against hers in a passionate press. She aches for him so badly that she arches into him, their kiss becoming desperate quickly.

It's been a year and they've only met a handful of times prior to now.

Stars don't have feelings, stars _can't_ have feelings, but she _does_.

She _loves_ Killian Jones.

When he parts his lips from hers, he settles his forehead against hers and takes her hands between them, squeezing them tight, as if he wants to keep her here in his arms forever.

"Emma, I-" Killian's breaths come out fast and she closes her eyes, shaking her head.

"Don't," she pleads softly. But they both know what he's about to say and it weighs real between them as he manages a step back from her.

"As you wish."

They spend their day together in his cabin aboard _The Jewel of the Realm_ , and in between him feeding her all types of delicacies, hearing wild tales from his elder brother, and learning how to sword fight on the deck with the sun warming her cheeks as her laughter fills the harbor, Emma is certain she's never been more content.

Well, at least until she and Killian enter his cabin after supper and with a little nervous flutter of her heart, she kisses him.

He grins at her, moving in to kiss her again, and somehow, they end up backing into his cot.

The lieutenant blushes profusely as she straddles him but Emma just giggles, pulling the dress she's wearing over her head with ease.

He gazes up at her in awe and she lowers her lips to his, taking his hands so he'll touch her. He does as she desires, much to her delight, and Emma takes his loose white top, unbuttoning it easily, sliding his arms from the sleeves as their tongues tangle.

"Killian?" she murmurs against his lips, hungry for nothing but him in this moment.

"Aye, my love, anything."

She kisses him and gasps with delight as goose bumps trail along her flesh at the tender touch of his calloused fingertips, leaning her forehead into his.

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?" He asks, suddenly stopping his motions and forcing her to look him in the eye.

Emma licks her lips and catches her breath. "Of losing this feeling. When I'm-" she stops herself, shaking her head. "I'm afraid that the distance between us will make this too hard."

He shakes his head, muttering _no_ under his breath. "No, no." His brow creases adorably and he sits up straighter, his hands settling on her hips. "Emma, you have to know you're the only one for me."

And it breaks her heart, her fragile, tentative human heart, because knowing he thinks so highly of her means that he'll keep his word.

"You can't want just one day a year with me," she tells him, tears prickling at her eyes.

Her eyelids slide shut when he leans his forehead against hers. "I'll take what I can get. Because all I'm ever able to think about are these moments I spend with you."

Emma's fingers play with the necklace hanging around his neck and she grips the pendant in her palm. It's new, and she opens her eyes to look at it.

"I- erm-" Killian reaches up to take the pendant from her fingers and when she looks at him, he's blushing bright red.

"It's a star," Emma states. Her stomach twists uneasily.

Her sailor meets her eyes and he shakes his head swiftly. "I bought it so I can remember you even when I can't see you."

Emma tilts her head at him, smiling softly as he continues to explain, "You're the one that always shines first, so it's not as bad, but I miss you when I can't see you."

Part of her wonders if he knows why she comes out first, but the other part of her is very well aware of the time and the fact that they've only got a few more hours left together.

"Then I shouldn't be afraid," Emma tells him softly, a tiny grin filling her lips as she takes the pendant into her hand. She wills a bit of her stardust into it and then meets his eyes. "Because now I'm always going to be with you."

He reaches up to cup her cheek, his hand slipping back into her hair, his fingers curling the blonde waves around lazily. Their mouths meet on almost their own accord, tender and loving, a sweet feeling filling her, making her want to soar above the clouds again, but she stays grounded to him, savoring this moment of intimacy as intensely as she possibly can.

Killian flips them over so he can remove his pants and boots, flinging them off as quickly as he can, and it makes her giggle into his lips, knowing that how badly he wants to be with her is about as much as she wants him.

All she's thought about for a year is _him_. She doesn't ever give her attentions to anyone else. She's seen him grow and change over this past year, has seen him rise up in the navy, has seen him try new things and go new places. Sometimes he talks to her, in the dead of night with no one else around, and she savors those moments of attention.

As she considers those half interactions now, she can see the desperation in Killian's eyes, how he must ache to hold onto her, probably as much as she aches to stay like this with him.

They join together with a mutual noise of appreciation, and Emma runs her fingers through his hair as her body reacts to him, her hips bucking and her legs twisting around his hips, trying to keep him there, trying to hold onto this moment, for as long as she possibly can.

Because soon, it will be over.

But soon it's too much, this feeling that's rising up in her, and she's whimpering as she cries out his name, his own noises of passion warm and desperate in her ears.

Her eyes might be closed, but she knows that stardust coats her body and his, knows she's leaving parts of her behind in his cot, but she can't find it in her to care.

Not when they've finally been brought together as one. Not when he's warm and all she wants to do is sleep, nuzzling her head under his chin in the afterglow.

She wants to stay awake, wants to make sure she does the absolute most she can during her twenty four hour visit to Earth, but her eyes shut and she hears his voice, such a beautiful sound, in her ears.

"I love you."

She doesn't get the chance to say it back.

..

The day they set sail for Neverland, Emma watches them and tries to shine brighter, for sake of warning, but it's already done and for once she can't go where he does.

So she waits. She waits and considers asking other stars to watch out for him, her sailor with the floppy dark hair and the wild stories behind those big blue eyes. But she doesn't. Because she realizes that asking something of so many would sound ridiculous. Having feelings for Killian Jones already is.

..

He shows up, finally, in the middle of the day a few weeks later.

She swears she's never been happier to see his ship in her life.

But he doesn't come on deck right away. In fact, a panic arises a few moments after they show up again, and Emma watches helplessly as men rush below deck, to the place where she'd been just months ago.

He comes on deck later that day, looking weak and defeated, and Emma discovers that something happened while they were in Neverland, something awful, because soon, they're sending Liam off to the depths of the sea.

Later that day, she doesn't shine for Killian, but for Liam, in memory of the man with the curly hair and the kind nature.

..

He's broken. He's turned his allegiances to piracy and he's been wandering the seas in search of release, but he hasn't found it yet.

Every night, Emma shows herself to him, shining as bright as she can, but he doesn't seem to care. He spends his nights with other women, mostly, and she discovers that he has a drinking problem one night when he comes on deck, bumbling around, laughing and pointing up at her.

"You should've been afraid," he says loudly. "You shouldn't come to me anymore, Swan. I'm not who I was the last time we met."

He has a hard swig of his rum and he shakes his head. "I miss you, but what good is one day in a year?"

..

She watches him flounder for the three months leading to her birthday and she hates it.

He drinks and he pillages and he does everything he'd been fighting against, in his anger toward the crown that sent Liam to his untimely death.

She loves him and it breaks her heart, because seeing him like this isn't natural.

As her birthday starts to draw close, Killian seems to go silent. The ship heads to the Isle of Stars and she doesn't know if she should be excited or afraid.

..

On her birthday, Emma falls to the earth as she always does, landing on the island with nerves tingling in her human fingertips.

Killian is standing where he always does, but he looks much different, darker, with an apology in his eyes.

She's been doing this for so long with Killian Jones, but Captain Hook is whom she will be spending her birthday with instead.

"Should I leave?" Emma asks. She doesn't brush the stardust from her arms, instead allowing them to fall from her as she strides forward.

Killian shakes his head. "Why would you leave?"

He seems nervous, she finds, and her heart squeezes in her chest, aching for the broken shell of a man she sees before her.

"I don't know who you are," Emma says.

She's standing in front of him now, and she finds age in his eyes, well past his years. He looks worn down and exhausted, and he smells of grime, sweat, and rum, with just a hint of sex.

His hair is a mess, as if he's run his fingers through it one too many times, and his cheeks are rosy. But he's still handsome; with eyes so blue she could drown in them.

She wonders if he realizes how much she's loved him over the past year.

"Aye, love, I know," Killian's voice falters and she aches. "Something happened in Neverland. I- I couldn't just let it be."

Emma takes a breath and holds it, trying to decide what she should do.

The last time she was with him in this form, he was so _different_. He'd told her he loved her and she suddenly feels sick, because he's her one true friend.

"I shouldn't have come," she says with tears in her eyes. She takes a step back and her fingers twitch at her sides as she summons the power she needs to surge back into the air.

He shakes his head. "Swan, don't-"

Emma just shakes her head at him and closes her eyes, offering him a weak smile as she goes back into the sky.

..

A mixture of sadness and anger causes her light to go dim.

She doesn't shine for Killian as brightly as she used to, and she ends up coming out much later than usual, dreading seeing him watch for her, because he always _does_.

He stands on the deck of his ship with his eyes on the sky, no matter how late it is when she's visible to his eyes.

For the first few days, he apologizes for ruining her birthday. He pleads with her and tries to tell her that what he's doing with his life now isn't as nasty as she knows it is.

Perhaps that's why she doesn't shine for him.

He goes silent after that, and she does too.

..

She's still angry with him when Killian's ship becomes covered by storm clouds.

He's been sailing for the Enchanted Forest for a few days now and the weather is finally catching up to them.

Lightning brightens the sky and she doesn't need to be able to see him to know it, but she can sense that the livelihood of the ship is in danger.

Her position in his sky is that so he would be able to see her, so she lets go of her anger and fear, and instead embraces the love she'd once held so tightly for him.

Shining so bright feels better than she expected it would, but with time, it starts to fade again.

Killian's ship makes it out of the storm and she hears his voice, breathless and true, "Thank you, Emma."

..

"I want to see you," he says as night falls in his sky a few months after the storm.

She lets him see her, bright and shining, and listens as he chuckles under his breath.

"You're beautiful, my love."

It's the kindest he's been in a long time and she wishes she could talk to him, to put her hand on his cheek and kiss him like she'd done the last time they met.

"I- I'm on my way to the Isle of Stars," he tells her. "I'm sure you know I am. This time, I was wondering, if you'd come too?"

To be honest, she's considered not showing up, considered staying put on her birthday, but she also knows she's too curious to not at least feel what it's like again.

Being in a human form is so natural and she _loves_ the way the wind feels in her hair. Not to mention how much she loves the way she feels when she's with Killian.

"Bloody hell, I'd forgotten how difficult this is." He laughs in spite of himself. "Erm… when you left me there last time, I realized that perhaps this relationship we've got is something we need to… I don't know. I-" He breathes out and she sees him ramming his hands through his hair as he paces around on the deck of his ship. "I just love you, Emma, that's all I know. And I miss you so, _so_ , much."

She shines just that much brighter for him that night, hoping he'll see that she feels as he does.

..

Her birthday is fast approaching.

Killian goes to a little island near the Isle of Stars to stop off for supplies and he disappears in the town for two days.

He doesn't speak to her or show his face to her and she starts to worry about him, but he emerges on the day before her birthday and takes his ship to the Isle of Stars, without anyone else on board.

He's silent still and she tries to figure out why, tries to figure out _what_ he's doing but can't.

When the moment of her birth strikes her, Emma begins to fall with grace toward the Isle of Stars, her human form overtaking her as soon as she hits the ground.

It feels _wonderful_ to be a human again.

She smiles, unable to help herself, and looks around as she dusts the stardust onto the ground below her feet.

"Killian?"

"I'm here, love."

She turns at the sound of his voice, finding him standing there looking a year older, but… different.

He's wearing a new outfit and his hair isn't untamed any longer. He has a smile on his lips, a tiny one that spreads wider as she steps toward him.

"Where did you go?" she asks. "I didn't see you for three days."

He raises an eyebrow devilishly. "Did you miss me?"

Emma rolls her eyes as she reaches him and looks up at him, finding that he's much _cleaner_ now. He doesn't smell of anything horrible, mostly just soap and a pinch of cinnamon if she knows any better.

His eyes twinkle at her under the moonlight and his lips part for a moment before he speaks again. "I was… I decided that I should make a better impression this time."

He appears to be nervous then, as if he's afraid she's going to leave him like she did the last time they were here, and it's silly, because of anyone hurt in Emma leaving, it really should be _her_.

"You did this for me?" Emma asks.

He nods. "Aye."

Unable to hold back her emotional response, Emma's eyes well up with tears and she pulls on a smile, lifting up on her toes so she can wrap her arms around his neck.

He breathes her in deep. She hears him, and her eyes close as his arms wrap around her, holding her impossibly close to him.

Killian's lips press against her temple and she feels the scruff of his beard scratching lightly against her cheek when he settles his against hers.

He's warm and gentle, and dare she even think she feels like she's coming _home_ with him holding her?

"I've missed you," she whispers.

"And I, you."

..

They don't wait long to tumble into his bed on his ship this time. He shows her around the ship, gives her some chocolate, and with their fingers entwined, they head toward the hatch leading below deck of the empty ship.

"Don't laugh," Killian says, glancing over at her. "But I've made things more comfortable for you."

When he opens the hatch, she can't tell immediately what he's done, but climbing down, she smells something _wonderful_.

Turning around, Emma discovers that he's lit the cabin in candles, and there's a round delicacy sitting on his desk, in addition to what she's certain is hot chocolate.

The bed looks comfortable, too, with pillows and she raises an eyebrow at him. "Presumptuous, Captain?"

He looks a little embarrassed as he settles his feet on the floor of his cabin, reaching up to scratch at the spot behind his ear like he did when he was younger.

"I-" His mouth hangs open and she laughs, finding his hand again.

"Don't worry, Killian. I still think about it too."

She crosses the room and sits on the edge of his bed, letting go of his hand so he can grab the delicacy from the table.

"It's a birthday cake," he tells her. "I figured since we never really properly celebrated before, now we could start a new tradition. With cake."

Emma hums as she sets her eyes on the plate in his hand. "Will I _like_ cake?"

He shrugs. "Only one way to find out."

They have a plate each with a slice of cake and it turns out that she _does_ like cake.

"I wish I could have this everyday," she sighs, removing the fork from her mouth.

Killian chuckles. "I'm glad you like it."

She finishes her slice and sets it aside, folding her hands together in her lap while she watches Killian finish off his piece.

"This is nice." Emma says. "I've never _celebrated_ my birthday before."

Her sailor smiles at her and stands to take their plates to the table before coming back to her with a small gift, wrapped in cloth.

"Oh," Emma gasps, "what-"

Killian shakes his head. "Just open it, love."

She takes the little gift from him and runs her fingers over it tenderly. Killian sits beside her on the bed again and she unwraps his gift, finding a swan pendant hanging on the end of a necklace.

"Killian, I-"

He gently takes the necklace from her and moves her hair out of the way so he can put it on.

"I've got a part of you with me," he says as his proximity to her has butterflies fluttering in her belly, "now you've got a part of me with you."

She gets emotional, turning to him when he finishes, her fingers reaching to take the pendant, and she shakes her head, though she doesn't know what to say.

Emma is overwhelmed with _love_ in this moment, and she moves so she can kiss him, taking his face between her hands, closing her eyes tight.

And it feels like it did before, only more tender, more _loving_ , and Killian's hand settles on her side as her lips part for his to take, their breaths hot and deep as they pause in unison, only to be brought together again.

He takes control of the situation, easing her onto her back on the mattress, bracing himself above her as he continues to kiss her lips as a starving man would feast.

Their foreheads touch a few minutes later, their chests heaving, and their breaths loud between them. Her fingers reach up for his pendant and she whispers those words she never got to before, "I love you."

He meets her eyes with his wide ones, holding his breath, clearly distraught by her words. "Emma-"

She shakes her head. "I have loved you for a long time, Killian. Just because you lost sight of who you are, that doesn't mean I could stop."

"I don't-" Killian swallows, his brow creased, "- bloody hell, I don't deserve you."

Emma's fingers slide up to cup his cheek. "You've had me for as long as you've known me and you'll have me for however much longer we have."

There's something in his eyes and she knows bringing up the fact that the terms of their relationship are quite simply _the worst_ isn't the best idea, but it's a reality that they have to live with.

She's a _star_ and he's a sailor. There's not much that can be done.

..

They make the most of her day, spending most of it in his bed, exploring each other's bodies, swearing to each other they'll forget about the fears that creep in as they mark one another _theirs_.

She talks to him, too, because _talking_ to Killian Jones has always been one of her favorite things, especially because he's such a good listener, with always something wise to say in response. Talking is such a _human_ task, and she _loves_ it.

Killian talks, too. He tells her stories and holds her hand as he explains what happened with Liam. She cries when he does, and they both get through the grief together, with kisses to fallen tears and with just one more round of her latest favorite activity.

But the day has to end. It always does.

She finds that it hurts the most, lying in the quiet of the captain's cabin with Killian, his swan against her bare chest, her stardust against his.

"I don't want you to leave," he says quietly.

Emma blinks at him and she finds that the feeling resonates with her, the feeling a clenching in her belly, a tugging that begs her to stay here, with Killian.

"I don't want to leave, either."

They're staring into one another's eyes, unable to look away, when it happens, and Emma presses her lips against his when she feels the familiar tugs on her limbs.

"Thank you, Killian. I love you."

..

They're both _sad_.

Killian doesn't seem to know what to do with himself and she isn't shining as bright as she usually does. Instead, she's wishing she were with him, wishing she could be standing on the deck of his ship with the wind in her hair and the sun on her skin, warm and with _him_.

But she's not.

..

Only a week passes, a week of sadness and whispered half conversations under pale moonlit nights, when Killian makes port somewhere he's never been before.

It's a place in the Enchanted Forest, where the magic is practically seen from the heavens, and he disappears for two days before he comes back with a spring in his step.

He looks up at her that night, smiling wider than she's ever seen him.

"Starlight, star bright, may I have the wish I wish tonight?"

Something happens, she feels it tingling, making her shimmer, and she gets excited, because she has a feeling she knows what he's about to ask of her.

"I wish that Emma would be human, everyday, not just on her birthday. I wish that she'd be free."

Emma falls from the sky and toward the Earth, straight to the ground upon which Killian stands, landing with laughter of disbelief on her lips as she feels the stardust fall from her.

"Killian," she gasps.

He smiles and she thrusts herself into his arms, unable to stop from laughing. "I'm- I'm here."

"Aye," he breathes, looking her over as she steps back. His hands catch hers, squeezing them tight. "I hope it's alright that I've wished you here for the rest of your life, because-"

Emma surges forward, pushing up on her toes to kiss him, delighting in the way he smiles against her lips.

"You saved me," Emma says happily when she sets her feet down on the ground.

Killian's smile is warm. "No, love." He shakes his head. "If anyone's a savior, it's you. You saved me."

Emma smiles softly at him and he quickly changes gears, tilting his head toward the ship swaying in the sea a short distance from them. "What do you say we celebrate your arrival?"

She takes his hand and takes a deep breath of the air through her nostrils. "As long as I'm with you."

Her sailor's smile spreads. "As you wish."


End file.
